Going Public

This past week was spent recovering from a  week of ‘vacation’ with my parents.  Unfortunately, late days of work kept me pretty distracted.  Jeff was in Vail for the week with his friends and my parents, Jacob and I got a week of eating lots of Korean food, taking naps and watching Korean videos/movies. I hadn’t spent that much relaxed time with my parents in a while.  When we go to Chicago, we usually stay in the city and are back-and-forth between the city and suburbs visiting and catching up with our friends and my family. As much as we annoy each other, I still cried when they left to go home. Jacob finally was starting to come around and like hanging out with his grandparents.

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The ‘Best’ selfie. 🙂

Work was great, no complaints other than some ‘long’ hours like being home 5pm or so.  After 4 solid days of work, I was ready for a day off! I am not the same workaholic I used to be back in the day, pre-Jacob.  Lately, I feel some more internal pressure to work more… especially because coming August, I will go on maternity leave.  (More on that topic later)

Yes, that’s right! It’s time to say it outloud.  I am subconsciously still in shock/denial about this but I am pregnant again. Of course, I am super thrilled and excited. And of course, I am nervous and terrified of what is to come.  Jeff and I told our parents a few weeks ago when they were here for Jacob’s birthday. And next came telling people at work who needed to know in terms of staffing and scheduling.

One of the harder things I had to do was tell my friends who had had miscarriages. In my profession and current place of work, I provide anesthesia for women who need to have procedures for their miscarriages. I feel sad for them, guilty for me and pray that she heals and can get pregnant and have a healthy child in the future.

A few of my friends had undergone miscarriages while I was early in my pregnancy. I was especially sad for them because I knew how much they wanted to have a child. I was also sad for me because it would’ve been fun to be pregnant together. Google helped me realize that perhaps the ‘better’ way is to tell them via email/text so they aren’t forced to see me and process their emotions in front of me.  I read this too late for a few of my friends and I have some anxiety about it but it’s not about me.  I feel guilt and sadness but I’m trying to keep it positive.  I pray for them and their little nuggets in heaven.

My OB says to not compare this pregnancy to the first one but it is so hard not to compare/contrast! I am having more nausea and food apathy than my pregnancy with Jacob. This has me/others wondering if this means this baby is a girl!  We shall see when he/she born to see who was right!  I also have developed a little belly much earlier this go-around than my first. Then again, I was in pretty good shape before I got pregnant with Jacob. This time, not so much. But that’s okay, as long as the baby is healthy!

I’m looking forward to talking openly about this pregnancy and sharing my daily joys and struggles with you all!

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Loving my Toxin Flush juice
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He eats like his mama
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I will suck in until I can’t suck it in any longer
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Does Dos look like a girl?
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This lil guy has no clue what is about to happen! Poor munchkin!

 

 

 

 

Author: trustmeimadoctormom

Anesthesiologist by day, Mom to a fearless threenager and almost-toddler boys by day/night/dawn 24/7!

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