The “Last” Day- 08/24/18 6am

Edited 08/28/18: Since this entry was written, our new addition, Cameron Sung Min Chisdak, was born on Friday, 08/24/18.  It’s been a transition so a blog is pending.. Stay tuned! 🙂 

Yesterday was the “last” time for a lot of things. Our “last” day as a family of 3, my “last” time putting Jacob to sleep as he is the only child… I had a good cry or two yesterday feeling sad/guilty to Jacob. As much as I know eventually he will be the best of friends with his brother/sister, I can’t help but be subconsciously traumatized at how not the best of friends my brother and I became and worry about Jacob and Dos.

We had a good day out for a boat ride, lunch at the Barefoot Grill. It was a gorgeous day and we all had a wonderful time.

Today’s the day, Dos. Today is your eviction day!

As a normal human being and previously induced mom, I should’ve known better than to stay up until midnight watching TV, but Jacob went to sleep late (thanks to late nap from 2:30-6) and me wanting to spend more time with him. I also wanted to spend some QT time Jeff just the “two” of us before the big day today.

My stomach was all in knots as well. Jeff and I talked about the handful of times we’ve been up late or felt this feeling of anxiety/nerves/excitement- the day before MCAT, the day before our wedding. I couldn’t remember what I felt the day before Jacob was induced…

What if…

… I go into labor in the middle of the night?

… Jacob freaks out while he’s at Mike/Kathy’s house? (He probably will, poor Liane!)

… Jacob freaks out because I’m not around all day/night? This’ll be the longest in a while since he’s been alone.

The medical reality of me also thinks about worst-case scenarios… What if… I need a c-section? What if something happens to me? Are all my things in order? Jeff knows where all my ID and passwords are for everything.

As you can see, my brain is all over the place right now and my stomach and innards are in IBS mode.

My OB said I could have a light breakfast before going in today at 8:30am. I’m an anesthesiologist and still have no idea what that means?! Light breakfast for me? I remember one patient had one ramen, one corn dog and that was her ‘light’ breakfast. I also, being the bad patient, had a smoothie and kimbap for breakfast while starting the induction.

Okay, buddy #1 and #2. It’s go-time soon. It’s 6:08am. Time to shower, pack some of Jacob, my and #2 things.

Jacob and his fish rod
Selfie time with #1
My Munchkin and me
Snack time, gotta stay nourished
Watch out!!

Author: trustmeimadoctormom

Anesthesiologist by day, Mom to a fearless threenager and almost-toddler boys by day/night/dawn 24/7!

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